Should a non-custodial parent have to discuse this with the custodial parent?

My son came home from his dads after the summer visit with a horrible "highlight" job on his hair. There was a blond circle around his head. I asked who did it and he said that his dads live-in girlfriend did it. My ex is not a very involved father anyways. He only sees our son about 4-5 times a year and only calls about the same amount, and even when he gets our son, he leaves him with the girlfriend, his mother, or some other family member. So I doubt he even was involved in this "highlighting disaster". As my sons primary caregiver, shouldn't I have been asked if this was okay to do before it was done? Just for the sake of avoiding a conflict? I saw a similar case on 'Judge Judy' about a stepmom piercing her stepdaughters ears over a visitation, without even discusing it with the mom, who the child lived with. Judge Judy said that just to avoid starting a fight with the mom, the dad should have at least discused it with her first. What do you think?